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Film Review:- 'Jupiter
Ascending...'
Review by:- Patrick Trollope
THIS film 'Jupiter Ascending'
is an unhappy blending of films like:- 'The Matrix' and
'Star Wars', and just reading that you will probably get the idea. You
might want to skip the next part…
I immediately got very interested when I spotted the trailer and the cast, with
the likes of Sean Bean and Mila Kunis, this promised to be one amazing film.
Sadly, the film rips off many other films and TV series, making a very
convoluted, mishmash of ideas and a wacky plot, and I say plot lightly...
First off, the 'plot' is set around a unsuspecting girl, called:-
'Jupiter'. She is from a back water planet called, yes you guessed it:-
Earth. It is set in modern day, so she has no knowledge of aliens or alien
civilisations, but this wacky plot like soon lets her find out that she has a
claim that will give her the throne of the Universe. Sadly, it is not that
simple, as first she must face a host of other forces who wish to stand in her
way. From bureaucratic aliens to a host of killers… plus 'relations' of a sort…
If the start of the 127mins was anything to go by, the warnings of scenes of
'moderate violence' on the age rating might have been understated for some.
Explanation to follow…
The opening of this film was shocking! Not in the sense of gore or violence, but
its lack of realism, or even direction! It had poorly thought out lines, in what
we think was 'Russian', but even though I my accompanying
colleague's native language is Russian, even she could not understand it... The
subtitles were just too hard to follow and zany… Then the film jumped into
hyperspace and shot forward in what was a highly disjointed manner. With a movie
that had a budget of the scale this one had, this was astonishing. In my view
this automatically lost the viewers' interest. This next section was very
haphazard, with a sequence of events that could fit into a series from the
'X-Files'. But that would have been far better produced! Then came
the 'MIB' style aliens and rip off ideas from the costume and prop department of
'Judge Dredd'. I started to question why I had paid to watch it!
Sadly, it only got worse. As the first part progressed into a very poor
imitation of the 'Roswell High' TV series, I did not know quite
what was going on.
Once it got to outer space, I thought, it might get better... The film
'Dune' was a bit all over the place at first, so as I could see
connections to that film, I naturally thought the disjointed nature might be
interlinked and make more sense as the film progressed, but how wrong I was! The
next part became a strange blend of:- 'Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy',
'The Matrix' and 'Star Wars', plus 'The Fifth
Element'. In some ways, Jupiter's royal seal, that was to emerge out of
this section of the film, was just a type of hi-tech ID travel card like the:-
'MultiPass.'
It was not all bad, as a few, and I stress few good jokes were in the script,
meaning it is just about bearable. For example, during part of the film, Jupiter
delivers a fantastic line:- "I love dogs." Sorry, I will not say
the full information to this, as it is one of the few highlights! The other and
this is a spoiler, if you can say that, was at the end, when the hero turns out
to be happy as she was.
In short, this film is a highly dissatisfactory and highly annoying film! It had
huge potential, but a combination of poor direction, storyline and creativity
has lead to what I would say is one of the worst films I have seen in ages being
released onto the masses. I was going to give it 1 out of 5, and I found it hard
pushed to give it 1, but the saving grace, pushing it up to 2, was oddly the end
sequence, and the:- "I love Dogs" joke. If it was not for them, I
might have left and popped into the screen next door, with:- '50 Shades'
on it! I would love to see what others thought about this film, so
please do email us with your views to:-
news24@southportreporter.com.
As a SciFi fan, I am shocked to say this, but…. my view…. If you really want to
see it, as I did, don't go, just wait for it to hit the TV.
Don't get it on DVD or BlueRay, as you will only want to use it as a frisbee by
the end of watching it! It might grow on me, but not at this point in time!
'Cast your mind back to my reference to 'moderate violence'.
This film is about 15 years too late, and just like my babbling, drawn out
review, let's put this film, like my review to bed…
That's all folks, I hope!!!
2 out of 5
UK age rating:- 12a. Running time:- 127mins. |
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Film Review:- 'Kingsman:
The Secret Service'
Review by:- Patrick Trollope
WATCH out 007! The new
'Kingsman'
film, if you have not
already seen it, is well worth a view. It makes fun of many spy films and it has
a very typical British sense of humour. Unlike the Johnny English, this film is
loosely based on an acclaimed, 6 part, limited comic book series called:- 'The
Secret Service'. It is, as director Mr Matthew Vaughn says, paying homage to the
classic British spy films of the 1970's. Just as in the film, when the
character, Galahad says:- "The suit is a modern gentleman's armour. And the
Kingsman agents are the new knights." The British humour and references just
keep coming throughout the film, in fact this quote is even used on the
merchandise page for the film... But first, take a breath to consider as the
prices for the items are not all that cheap if you log on to it for a souvenir!
Matthew De Vere Drummond is an English film producer and director, who comes
from London, so it is no surprise that the film plays with this connection. This
film is a fantastic blend of his knowledge gained by making films such as:-
'Stock
and Two Smoking Barrels' (1998) and then the hit superhero comedy:-
'Kick-Ass' (2010)
along with the the 2011 film, 'X-Men - First Class'; not saying X-men is a comedy mind...
But, you can netherless see how Matthew came to make those films when you start
digging into this film, which brings to mind the likes of the BBC's 'The
Avengers' , spy-fi British television
series and may be 'James
Bond' together, with a
dash of 'The
Saint' and even the 1960's
'Thunderbirds',
even 'Mighty
Mouse.'
It is hard to give a plot synopsis to this as to do so, might spoil the film...
Yes, it is predictable, but in a very good way! So in short: - 'Kingsman - The
Secret Service' tells the story of a super secret spy organization that is not
connected to any government, company or organisation. It recruits an unrefined,
but promising street kid into the agency's ultra competitive training program
following the death of an agent. This, oddly, just happens to coincide with a
global threat, that emerges from a twisted tech genius played by Samuel L.
Jackson. 'Gary Unwin' aka 'Eggsy', played by Taron
Egerton, is plunged into this world as one of those recruits along the side of a
character called:- 'Roxy', played by the stunning Sophie Cookson.
SPOILER WARNING...
Oddly with exploding heads, massacres in church, swearing, people being cut in
half, it is shocking to think that the most controversial part of this film was
at the end. James Bond always gets a girl, well until the last 2 films that is,
and this film takes a poke at that idea... Eggsy discovers the captured Princess
Tilde who promises him kinky sex if he comes back to rescue her. As most
audiences rolling around laughing, there has to be a few who object...
Shockingly it is that, that a few "bloody feminists" as Matthew Vaughn
has called them in the media as of late, have objected to it. But as Matthew
Vaughn says:- "It's about pushing boundaries and having a bit of fun. It's
not meant to be offensive, and it's definitely not misogynist or any attack on
women. If you watch the 007 film, 'The Spy Who Loved Me', he says he's 'keeping
the British end up'." What do you think about this part of the film? Is it
very bad or not? We are not defending that section of the plot, but we can see
the idea is in keeping with 'British Spy Films', as Matthew has said
publicly! To us this is an extremely funny part of the film, when put in its
true context. Johnny English even takes similar pot shots, but has never come
under fire, so why has this received such disapproval?
...SPOILER WARNING OVER
This is a very well constructed film, but it would have been nice to see a bit
more of fellow Kingsman recruit Roxy. Not just because she is stunning, but
because her character has lots of development opportunism. Plus the fact that
the amazing work of Sofia Boutella, who plays 'Gazelle', has to be listed as
out standing! The most disappointing thing for me was that Michael Caine does
not make any classic one line cracks throughout the film! But you can't have
everything. This cast list was bursting with talent and this shows in the final
edit! For a comic book movie that has no connection to Marvel or DC, it adds to
the fact that this has been shot on a budget which productions by the 2
aforementioned groups would struggle to get cleaners in for, this is a true
achievement. This is a brave film that has taken over $100m mark worldwide and a
credit to the UK's film industry. It is well worth going and it was very
refreshing to see. We think it is safe to say that you can watch this space for
a 'follow on...' Sorry no 'Gray' film reference
intended. Let's hope they develop Roxy's character along with 'Eggsy'.
5 out of 5
Running time:- 128mins.
Age rating:- 15 (Strong bloody violence, strong language)
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